Somewhere between 6th grade and my thirties the good ol’ handjob fell out of my sexual repertoire.

This is a damn shame !

Over the past few months I have made it my sole mission to bring back the handjob. (I made signs and everything.)

I am amazed at how powerful this simple act is.  It adds a whole other dimension to a love-makin encounter that puts women back in sexual control. The first few times it comes as a huge surprise to guys who are used to going from kissing straight to a BJ or sex. Oh wait! Isn’t there a name for this progression? It’s a baseball thing???  Oh right – the hand job used to be called SECOND BASE.

When did we start running straight from first to third? 

The handjob as a solitary act is insane. I like to pull this move when we are driving – especially in the middle of the day. A long drive to your parents house for Thanksgiving? yup.

It’s not as crude or messy as roadhead. Easy to start, easy to finish.

It’s also a great non-committal act for all you ladies who want to get a little frisky, but don’t like giving away all the goods to a guy you hardly know. It’s playful and fun – but doesn’t get you emotionally in too deep.

Besides, there is nothing worst than having the “Hey before I stick my face on your penis we should talk about Sexually Transmitted Diseases. (womp-womp.)” This move shows your creativity side and gives him something to look forward to.

A great handjob is 90% preparation and 10% technique. Here are some suggestions to nail the 90%

1. PUT HIM AT EASE

Most guys shun the hand job because at some point they became much better at it than we ever could. Practice makes perfect. But handjobs aren’t about an efficient orgasm. It’s about exploring different feelings and having a little fun. Tell your man “I don’t want you to cum – I just want to see you in my hands.” or I like to say “This is for me – not for you.” Assure him that he’ll have his chance later. The anticipation will likely drive both of you crazy (and you’ll love it). Take control and own the moment.

2. GET GROOVY

Find a steady rhythm that’s not too fast or slow. Within that rhythm you can mix up how much pressure you use or how you move your hands, but the stop-and-go makes it hard to get lost in the moment. I love to play music during a hand job. It drowns out the sloshing sounds that make me giggle, it sets the mood for a great moment and it gives you a little something to work with.

If you’re in a place where music isn’t an option (the bathroom at TJ Maxx) flip through the itunes catalog in your brain and choose a sexy song to play in your head. Before you start the thing, choose a soundtrack that turns YOU on.  You can really get into it and have some fun:  “I’m about to give you the greatest Beyonce HJ you’ve ever felt!” or “I’m about to go all Hall-and-Oates on your cock”

Whether you choose to say those things out loud is completely your decision.

3. GO FRICTIONLESS

There is a thin line between a handjob and an “indian sunburn” (not meant to be racially offensive – I wish this was called something else) The difference is friction. Every girl should carry a small hand lotion in her purse to keep your hands soft and smooth. That’s what I told myself when I bought it, but I actually use it mostly for handjobs. Also a small pack of tissues is a good idea. Hey! That’s something else you usually have in your purse! If your mom ever goes through your bag she’ll just think you’re well prepared for winter 🙂

Use it liberally and get a smooth surface to work with. Have fun and re-apply.

What are you doing still reading this? Go get your HJ on!