I can’t help but be confused about the things that “REAL” women have… (curves? muscle? perky B-cups? low self-esteem?)

In an effort to take a stand against the media’s influence over our body image issues there has been a recent flood of campaigns around the concept of a “real woman”. Led in full force by Dove and their campaign for Real Beauty, we have been fighting to expose the myth that we should all look like the model on the TV (you know.. that thing you watch on Netflix) instead perpetuating the idea that real women come in many different sizes and shapes and are gorgeous in their own way.

I love this campaign.

But I also have started to loathe the misuse of the term “REAL WOMEN” (and I know that I am being nitpicky here.)

I think by trying to completely ignore these women who we deem are “fake”, we are kind of missing the point. There needs to be a distinction between REAL women and AWESOME women. Because the women who are getting lyposuction and nose jobs and starving themselves thin are very real. But they are not awesome. And they are ruining the idea of beauty for everyone. But they can’t simply be ignored. They need to be loved too. (hugs and eskimo kisses to all of you!)

I have yet to do the field research around this, but I think telling one of these women she’s “not real” wouldn’t go very far in changing her perception of beauty. But telling that woman that she sucks – that might be more effective.

In order to figure out what is real we would have to find the lowest common denominator of what makes a woman a woman. Simply put, real women have vaginas. And that’s not a very helpful statement. And actually not even accurate to a huge community of female identifying people.

So here’s a quick brainstorm on real women and on awesome women.


Real Women:

can be mean

can be really thoughtful

wear way too much makeup

can wear just chapstick and look stunning

eat chocolate

have children and change their bodies

can be great in bed

can lay there like dead fish

wear spanx because they are really warm in Maine in Jan.

have no self control at a Beyonce concert

have regrets

have the amazing ability to self heal

have incredible capacity for love

have insecurities

might have a little cellulite

wish they had someone else’s hair

love hot baths



have lots of secrets but don’t need to gossip

don’t judge friends for being skinny bitches

hug their friends for inappropriate lengths of time

have not-so-guilty pleasures

talk about their insecurities

want a partner who laughs with them

are on a lifelong mission to find the perfect pair of jeans

get cravings but eat in moderation

read this blog (obviously…)