I’m not jealous. I’m just feeling really… ya know… bummed”
I’ve said this sentence (or some variation on the theme) a dozen times over the past few years. Hell, I wasn’t going to admit that I was feeling jealous. I had “unlearned jealousy” in 2006 when I started my first open relationship and read “The Ethical Slut”. I was too sexually intelligent to feel jealous. Right!?
But when my monogamous boyfriend started talking about how much he loved his ex – I felt overwhelmed with jealousy. But I never said the word.
Instead I let it fester. And over the years that we spent together I let it burn a hole in my self-love that left a permanent scar. I felt like I wasn’t enough. And I have seen the same thing happen with all of my clients. That’s the damage that unprocessed jealousy causes.
But I clumsily found an alternative.… Read the rest