I swear by the end of this article the title will make more sense.

I’ve been reading a lot about Orgasmic Meditation recently and the whole thing has really got me thinking. The practice of Orgasmic Meditation is incredibly interesting and not always in a good way. It’s a massage-like practice that is a sequence of structured strokes in which one partner gently massages the other partner’s clitoris for 15 minutes. I would go into more detail, but that’s pretty much it.

Although I don’t agree with everything they teach, I do resoundingly agree with one thing. I love that the goal of OM is not to get mindblowing love-making orgasms, but to raise the oxytocin level in a woman to help her cope with the anxiety of a high stress lifestyle.


The creator of OM and her company OneTaste, is also the writer of one of my favorite books, Slow Sex, and I LOVE the way she approaches certain aspects of love and orgasm as a practical, honest and underutilized. We approach sex as a wham bam thank you ma’am situation and lose all of the physical, mental and emotional benefits. We spend so much time faking big theatrical orgasms (which is a different story) that sometimes we forget orgasming is a vital physical function and is the glue of many amazing relationships.

You can read a ton of information about how wild the people are who have flocked around this practice, (I love/hate them and am jealous and can’t stop watching the trainwreck) who literally live and breathe Orgasmic Meditation. Many of the practitioners and teachers in different cities live together in group homes. It has come under scrutiny from people who recognize the founder of OneTaste, as being sort of cult-ish in the same way that Bikram yoga has been called out. Training to be an Orgasmic Meditation Coach costs $15,000 (yes, I am considering starting a Kickstarter). As a company, from a Start-up perspective, they are awe-inspiring and the movement is spreading like wildfire (I thought the herpes analogy would be too real), but as a basic human sexual practice – I am a HUGE fan.

Imagine if we looked at orgasms the way we look at food. Imagine if we looked at sexual tension the same way we look at blood sugar. That isn’t a crazy comparison considering the physical and health properties of both.

The release of sexual tension causes the hormone oxytocin to be released from nerve cells in the hypothalamus (a region of the brain) into the bloodstream, allowing the body to relax and stabilize. It helps us to open up, eases anxiety so we can communicate better and trust more easily. Oxytocin aids in reducing inflammation and improves physical healing of wounds (and emotional) and improves our brain function and memory capacity.

The OM practice has developed their VERY specific massage-like practice to be methodical and technical. The “stroking” allegedly activates the limbic system and releases a flood of oxytocin. The technique is a spiritual practice like meditation, but also more of a “body-hack to happiness.”

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we started treating orgasms the way we do eating a healthy breakfast or a midday snack. When we feel our blood sugar start to dip we recognize our “hangry” habits and grab a healthy snack to keep our body and mind working at it’s highest capacity. We eat a large healthy breakfast to get us through the day. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we recognized when we were starting to get tense, overworked, stressed out and generally bitchy and think “oh my god, I’m going to stop and get an OM after work.” We do it with food, shouldn’t we be doing the same with orgasms?

I am committing (not that it’s a huge stretch) to having a nice quick orgasm before going to yoga every morning. Starting my day with a balanced breakfast and a quickie. The physical benefits alone are worth it. 

Hands and legs | Orgasmic Meditation | Red Lipstick Project | redlipstickproject.com