I sat down last Wednesday morning with a piping cup of tea and a potential new client and heard the same thing that I’ve heard from so many other women. “I’m just having a really hard time finding a good guy.”
And I responded the same way I always do (although I’ve worked hard to remove the eye roll and long sigh…”
“What does a good guy look like?”
After they list the idealist qualities that often are associated with a good guy (kind, good listener, likes all the same music/books/movies, long walks on the beach, blahblahblah) I change the subject and then come back to a related question:
“So what kind of guy really turns you on?”
This list is inevitably the exact opposite of the things they previously mentioned, which is problematic for me as their potential coach. They’ll never find happiness with dichotomous expectations.
We think as women, that the madonna-whore complex is a fault of men, but I see it come up all the time with women.… Read the rest